Thursday, September 2, 2010

Sigh... perhaps it's time to just cut that string

Some know.... I am 'separated' from my wife. Okay, three years it's been, give or take. We are not divorced only through some misguided sense of decency on my part. If I stay married, she gets to stay on my medical insurance, and she has enough health issues that it matters. Phsychiatrists and mind altering drugs cost money.

When I left, my youngest son stayed with her. I don't think coming with me was ever an option he would have considered. We were never close, and honestly.... I just don't think he cared for me much. Still, I tried to keep some contact while they lived near. This brought little but grief. Her throwing things at my vehicle, screaming curses across parking lots, driving insanely down one way streets.... the wrong way.... while chasing me. All this culminated in yet one more instance with her talking to more nice police men. This time after trying to force her way in my front door.

A year ago, or so, she moved to another part of the state with my son. That ended contact with my son, and thankfully, mostly with her.

Recently I tried to open up contact with him again. Even managed to spend a few hours together. The thing is... sending him a text message earns me multiple e-mails from her, and I can see the demons are still there.

Frankly, I fear getting sucked into that madness more than I think spending time with him will do either of us any good. She makes it a package deal.... nothing, or dealing with both of them. He seems okay with that situation, although I must allow for young age in that.

No, I don't know what to do. I am sure of only one thing.... I WILL NOT have anything to do with her again. I escaped from the insanity, perhaps I even caused it, and I will never go near it again.


Ted Amadeus said...

Three words:
You are being played and set up for a disasterous let-down to come, if it hasn't already happened. If SHE initiates the divorce, you are screwed. If you do, you may still be, but much less so if you hire the right lawyer. Tom Leykis would tell you to "Dump that b****", and I could not find a suitable argument not to. Unless he wants to get out of there, you are wasting your time, money, effort and emotions.
First Rule of Acquisition applies here: Never pay more for anything than it's actually worth!

Eric said...

Not to be a nitpicker (okay, I am), but that's the Third Rule. First Rule is "Once you have their money, never give it back."

Rule 285 really applies here: "No good deed ever goes unpunished." I'm with Ted - get out on your terms while you still can.

punslinger612 said...

My ex would go of on screaming jags every so often. I always hoped it would get better. Finally after 15 years I left.

I initiated the divorce. It still hurt inside. Sense of failure, quitting. Alienated son. Still I was much happier away from the misery.

It is a situation with no easy answers. You can only hope that your son will maintain contact until he is old enough to decide.

Good luck.