I'm told our tie wearing cat herders are searching for a 'motivational speaker' to energize us at the beginning of the coming school year. There is apparently a 'budget item' for this.
Well, I volunteer, and I'll do it fer nuthin. It will go something like this:
Motivation? I'm supposed to say things that will make you want to jump up and rush to your classroom, eager to give it your all.....
How about we try this one on for size then, and see how it fits..
GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASSES, COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS, SHUT UP, AND GET TO WORK!
Take off your &$%#@$& crap stain glasses and look out the window. You see the people out there in the real world? One out of five has no job at all! Almost all of them are sweating over paying their minimum bills just to survive. NONE of them, aside from politicians and union @#$%(&^% are getting 'raises', and the cost of living is skyrocketing. The dollar is worth half what it was a few years ago, and that's why everything costs twice as much as a few years ago. Got that, Sparkles? EVERYONE is getting screwed in this economy but the people who made it happen.
I got news for you... YOU are already the lucky ones! You hear me? You are the LUCKY Ones already! You have a stable job doing something worthwhile. As long as kids want to come to your programs, and administration doesn't do something totally ignorant and stupid... your cushy job is safe. Yes, you have to spend your day dealing with nasty teenagers and asinine paperwork, but look out there! THOSE people spend their days wondering how to pay the rent and whether they have enough gas to get home tonight. Some of them are wondering where they will be sleeping next week!
You people want to bitch about how hard you work? You want to complain about stupid school policies designed solely to make some tie-guy feel powerful? You want to whine about the utter entitled neediness of the kids shoved through the system into your laps? I got news for you.... keep up your bitching, and it could very easily end for you. YOU can go join those people out there looking for a job and wondering if you'll lose your home next month.
You want motivation? Here's your motivation: The world sucks, and you are one step away from being dumped into the center of the suckage. Shut up, get to work, and pray this $#@% storm passes by without wiping out the whole school system.... and all your jobs with it.