Trying to think like a criminal.....

The last shop I worked in, a few years ago, was the backroom of a used car dealer.  Nice place, and the dealer was a truly decent person.

On my first day I was given an auction car to go over,  with the goal of reconning it to reliability for our lot.  I don't recall the make or model, just that it had an ABS module under the hood.

The vehicle had a dash lit like a Christmas tree, with all sorts of warning lights on.  It only took about 15 minutes to zero in on the ABS module under the hood, and a physical inspection found the gang-connector had been backed off enough to lose connection.

Now, the connector on that thing carries a locking tab, and simply can't back off by accident.  Not without destroying the whole shebang.  It had been disconnected on purpose.

When I showed Dean what I found, and the easy fix, I made the comment "I have no idea how that could happen".  Dean laughed, and explained.

It was 'auction sabotage'.  Buyers (car salesmen mainly) purposefully sabotage the cars going into the sales lane in hopes the warning lights and inoperable features will drive down prices for them.  The thing is, it never works because everyone there knows all about it.  That doesn't stop the idiots from continuing to do it though, even at the risk of being permanently black-balled from the auction.

Huh.... I had no concept of a thought process that underhanded and deceitful.   It presented an entirely new challenge, and not long after that day I  transformed myself into an expert on the ways of scheming, low life, sack-o-crap, auction car-buyers.

Now, with Congress and Nancy Pelosi, I'm faced with the same challenge re-framed.   SanFranNan shut the place down without acting on the impeachment vote.  That means Cheeto has not actually been impeached, and won't be till she gets around to sending the charges on to the Senate.

Why?  Why, after months of OMG WE GOTTA GET THIS DONE ASAP FAST RIGHTNOW OMG #FoR THe CHillUNs!!11!!

Not even a day after Shifty bent over backwards and spoke from his own butthole to tell us why they HAD to get it done quickly, and there was NO TIME to actually subpoena anyone or have the courts involved.

Now I am faced with trying to think in an underhanded and deceitful way, with a heaping helping of power mad greed on top, and capped with a cherry built of Vodka soaked prevarication.

She's said that she, as the prosecutor, will not seek trial until she has a guaranteed pre-chosen outcome.  "We'll give 'em a fair trial, while we get the rope strung and the coffin ready".

Okay, I can understand the words there, if not the black-hearted intent.   To see such raw un-American partisan unfairness on display in a powerful government figure though, the arrogance is astonishing.  Her surety that the American people will not take deep offense at behavior that would have any other prosecutor strung up by the heels and beaten with fence posts... mind boggling.

Or, (Trying to think in Dick Dastardly form), is her motive even more twisted?  Does she intend to be the prosecutor who has a massive public investigation, doing as much damage to the target as possible, and never file charges at all?

Oh, Nan... tell me your heart is not that black.  Is it?  Is there not the merest glimmer of basic American fairness and humanity left in that gnarled swamp of a mind?

Okay... she wins.  I just can't think like that. It's not in me to do so. 
Nor do I want it to be.  That would be putting a for-sale sign on my soul, and some things shouldn't be for sale at any price.