1-15-21

 So, in this time of personal firsts and new (but not always nice) experiences, yesterday fell neatly into track.

I saw a counselor. No..... not a consigliere like Godfather.... a counselor, as in guy I pay to talk with me about life's little issues.

I spent an hour or so talking with Woody, he of years long acquaintance, and it was a good thing.   Even a few months ago I could not have seen myself doing that, but things have changed.  Facing this whole Congestive Heart Failure problem could easily go overwhelming, and I'm seeing anxiety like never before.

Hopefully, my intelligence can overcome my stubbornness, and yesterday it did.  A little help is called for, and I lucked out.

Woody is the guy my kids saw, many years ago. He's the guy who came to my classroom and worked with my students, year after year. You might say we have a history.  Oh, and holy crap are we getting old....

Anywho, I talked with him about current events, Welling-style, and the anxiety I'm dealing with. It felt good to open up and talk with someone who is in exactly the right position to offer advice, and someone who's advice I respect.

Truthfully, there was not a lot of help there. A couple useful techniques that frankly, I'm already aware of and doing.... but it does help to highlight them and give them more structure.

I made an appointment to see him again in a week, and that will give me time to organize questions in my head, and make some notes. I can see the value there, and in talking with him.

There's an indicator I pay attention to when it comes to judging my own peace of mind.  It can be difficult to look at that mirror and see a true image past one's own bias, so any tool that allows that is useful.

I slept last night. Almost the entire night, and into the morning til around 8am.   Only melatonin as a sleep aid, which is typical and usual anymore.  Nothing else.

That's a big thing in my life just now, as a full nights sleep hasn't happened in weeks, if not a month.   I suspect that means something, if only my Id and Soul are just a bit more settled.

I'll take it.

Oh..... in other news.... I spoke with a nice lady at the outfit which carries the disability insurance I pay for.   After two weeks, I heard them admit that A) I exist, B) I'm a paying client, C) I'm not at work, and D) I'm not at work because a team of Doc's forcefully suggested I not be.    I am grudgingly granted coverage til the end of the month, when the circus comes to town again and we revisit everything.

 Sheesh.... they are prompt as hell when it comes to payroll deductions, but when it comes time to step up..... not so fast.