FFS

I just spent 20 minutes getting a rooster out of the road. He didn't want to step on the snow, and couldn't care less about cars, so the road looks good to his tiny little BB sized brain.

I was alerted by all the cars slowing down and all the horns honking. Yup, that feathered fucktard is standing in the road, totally oblivious.

He could stand in the warm coop forever. He could stand under my truck, off any snow. He could stand on our porch, with other chickens. No... FF has to STAND IN THE ROAD.

He wouldn't let me get close enough to carry him home. All the way up to the neighbors house, totally refusing to get out of the road. People stopped, people laughed, one little girl clapped and waved. The neighbor asked if I needed a hand, and I said "No, I need a shotgun". Now the neighbor is laughing too. Yuck fucking Yuck.

All the way back to our house, and FF finally risks his footsies in the snow as he nonchalantly wanders under my truck to scratch in the leaves.

Meanwhile, I'm huffing like the air is flavored with Bourbon and my digits have gone numb from waving at feathered fucktard in this arctic heat wave we are having. Some dude is laughing so hard he had to pull his truck over, and the other chickens are watching the show with glee.

JHC ona Pony....

AND....

10 minutes later, and FF is back in the road. HONK HONK HONK.

I captured Captain Dumbass in a fishing net and tossed him into the coop and locked it, and him, up.