Friday, November 27, 2009

A black friday snicker.......

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This was worth a healthy chuckle, as I read my e-mail yesterday. My lady and I are beginning the hunt for new living quarters. Nothing rushed, and nothing spectacular.... we'd simply like to rent a small home to ourselves.

So... I'm perusing Craigslist for homes... and e-mailing people for details. Amongst the responses came this bit of preciousness. Read it for yourself.... (g).

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Hello,



Thanks for the email. Mr. and Mrs. Rineer Heather , own the wonderfully 3 bedrooms 1.5 bathroom house . And I also want you to know that it was due to my missionary work transfer that made me and my wife to leave the house with an intention of giving it out for rent. I am looking for a responsible person that can take very good care of it as we are not after the money for the rent but want the property to be kept clean at all time as it is our hard-earned property. If you are honestly interested and will absolutely maintain my property,(treating it like it belongs to you) as i hope i can put my trust and confidence in you because i will come to check on my property yearly. I earlier wanted to sale the house (this is why there is still a for sale sign infront of the house) but had a second thought to rather put it up for rent, because as a matter of fact l will be coming back home in the next 3yrs,and would need a place to live in. you are wellcome to the house at your convenient but you will only be able to see the prorperty from the outside for now and do get back to us me soon as that is done ok..


Presently, We are here in west Africa doing the Lord's duty for humanity, for through our direct service to mankind, the blessings and promises of God will manifest today. The house vital informative documents and the entrance keys to the house are with me, for we try to look for dependable agent to handle the rent but could not find due to the limited time we had before leaving the United States. Mostly we do not want our property to be given to any sort of person to avoid damages and troubles. I and my wife came over to West Africa for a missionary work you can go over or drive by to see the house ok, but you can only view from outside for now hope you understand , so I hope you will promise us to take very good care of the house. So get back to me on how you could take care of our house or perhaps the experience and your persent living condition.

Here is the Property Description
Available Now!!!
3 Bed, 1.5 Bath
1440 Sq-ft
1-car Garage (attached)
PETS ARE ALLOWED

Security Deposit : $500
Monthly Rent : $700
Application Fee: $0
Pets Policy : $0
Here is the address to the house: 214 Winding Hill Dr Lancaster, PA 17601
Lease Term : As long as you wished
Contact Me : 011-234-802-567-4026
SO IF YOU ARE REALLY INTERESTED I WILL WANT YOU TO FILL THE RENT APPLICATION FORM BELOWRENTAL APPLICATION FORM

RENTAL APPLICATION
Neatly complete all information below. All applicants over the age of 18 must complete and sign their own application.

Applicants full name___________________________________Phone

#___________________DOB___________

Current Address________________________________City___________________State________Zip_________

Current Landlords Name__________________________________Landlords

Phone #______________________

How long at this address__________Reason for

leaving__________________________________________

Previous
Address________________________________City___________________State_______Zip_________

Previous Landlords Name__________________________________________Phone #______________________

How long at this address__________Reason for

leaving______________________________________________

Profession: __________________________________

How long at job_________

Employers Address_________________________________________City___________________State________

Number and type of Pets___________________________

Marital Status: _________

Kids _____ (YES/NO), How many ________

Names and relations of all other applicants_________________________________________________________

HABITS:
DO YOU SMOKE? ______________DO YOU DRINK? ______________DO YOU WORK

LATE NIGHT? ____

IF THIS APARTMENT IS BEING GIVEN TO YOU,

HOW LONG DO YOU INTEND STAYING? ____________ WHEN DO YOU INTEND MOVING IN? ______________

HOW SOON DO YOU INTEND MAKING THE PAYMENT ? ______________


___________________________________________________________________________________________

I CERTIFY that answers given herein are true and complete to the best of my knowledge. I authorize investigation of all statements contained in this application for tenet screening as may be necessary in arriving at a tenant decision. I understand that the landlord may terminate any rental agreement entered into for any misrepresentation made above.you can bring in your stuffs and items, only inform me about your move in.

Signature________________Date________________


Please get back to me today with a reply,


Regard and God bless you
Mr. and Mrs. Rineer Heather & Family
Phone : 011-234-802-567-4026

3 comments:

PRH....... said...

Glad I found you again....hope your Thanksgiving and upcoming Christmas season is the best.

Borepatch said...

What, no place to put your bank account number?

;-)

JAFO said...

Other than the HORRID attempt at writing, what's wrong with it?