"Talking to myself again..."

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

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I woke up this morning feeling the weight of time. A vivid dream made it clear... the good years ahead are far fewer than the years behind. That is a heavy thought to carry around.

It helps that life is good. Choices made these last few years make it possible to go through a day without being angry as a lifestyle. Each day, laughter that dispels the darkness and pushes away sadness.

Yes.... there are regrets.... and I would wish to not have cause for them. Too late... they are there and must be borne. There are a few people I owe apologies to, even if it's simply for choosing to live... and they'll never understand that. There is another I will always feel joined to, even if pride and pain means never touching fingertips again. There are those who have passed on...

Time to pour another mug of coffee, and move my thoughts to the day ahead. There are young people to test, coach, and guide. There is a world within a world, and my part to play in it. Regrets and heavy thoughts must wait till time permits. Today, there is work to be done.

1 comment:

Ted Amadeus said...: Fine business!
You should only be concerned with what you can change, and the past is not in that category.
There are lots of things I would do different, but time works on a ratchet and there's no reverse...
a blessing as well as a curse!; May 16, 2010 at 10:02 PM

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Robert Heinlein

"Do not confuse "duty" with what other people expect of you; they are utterly different. Duty is a debt you owe to yourself to fulfill obligations you have assumed voluntarily. Paying that debt can entail anything from years of patient work to instant willingness to die. Difficult it may be, but the reward is self-respect.

But there is no reward at all for doing what other people expect of you, and to do so is not merely difficult, but impossible. It is easier to deal with a footpad than it is with the leech who wants "just a few minutes of your time, please — this won't take long." Time is your total capital, and the minutes of your life are painfully few. If you allow yourself to fall into the vice of agreeing to such requests, they quickly snowball to the point where these parasites will use up 100 percent of your time — and squawk for more!
So learn to say No — and to be rude about it when necessary.
Otherwise you will not have time to carry out your duty, or to do your own work, and certainly no time for love and happiness. The termites will nibble away your life and leave none of it for you.

(This rule does not mean that you must not do a favor for a friend, or even a stranger. But let the choice be yours. Don't do it because it is "expected" of you.)"