Aristo! Aristo! A la lanterne!: The only box I will ever fit is the one they lay me to rest in.

Friday, July 5, 2019

The only box I will ever fit is the one they lay me to rest in.

Human beings like things to fit. Fit in a place, fit within an idea, and most of all... fit into that little box in their head. Be it person, place, thing, idea, notion, animal, mineral, or vegetable... we humans will study it, classify it, regulate it, mold it, and beat it up till it fits that box in our head we have prepared for it. Far too often, the box is built by someone who has decided how it profits them to look.... and then they tell everyone "Hey! Look at this box! YOU ARE AN IDIOT if you don't use this box as your own!".... and people, generally being idiots, agree and use someone else's box.

Once we have a bunch of nice, neat boxes.... we use them to build our world. For far, far too many people... their world is built of boxes someone told them to use, because they really are too lazy, stupid, or greedy to build their own.

Well.... guess what?

I..... DON'T..... FIT..... IN..... THE.... BOX. Stop trying to shove me in it. Any box. Yours... his... theirs.... not even my own.

I'm not a Republicrat, nor a Demican. I'm not Libservative, and I'll never be a conserveral either. I am never going to join your religion. Don't worry... I won't join theirs either. I'm never going to adopt your party line, nor will I ever adopt theirs. I don't want or need your understanding, sympathy, disdain, respect, love, or hate in order to exist. Whatever your label of the moment is... it won't stick to me... nor do I really care what it says.

Whatever shape the box is in your head where you want me to fit.... IT'S WRONG. I don't really care why you keep trying to shove me into that box.... whether it's laziness, thoughtfulness, or some kind of agenda.... forget it. Your box will not fit me, no matter how much you want it to.

I live in a me-shaped hole in my life. It changes from moment to moment, and day by day. People I care about who share my world.... live in their own them-shaped holes which change as often as mine does. I don't try to shove them into cramped little boxes, and that means I don't have to get my feelings all hurty when they climb out of their box and turn back into human beings.

I suspect this attitude of mine is why my list of friends is rather limited. I am myself... a living, breathing, changing human being. I allow myself to be this... and don't expect anything else of my friends but the same. This means that we don't fit in boxes... and that frightens the sad little people who can't deal with anything that doesn't fit.

So be it.

The only box I will ever fit is the one they lay me to rest in.

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Robert Heinlein

"Do not confuse "duty" with what other people expect of you; they are utterly different. Duty is a debt you owe to yourself to fulfill obligations you have assumed voluntarily. Paying that debt can entail anything from years of patient work to instant willingness to die. Difficult it may be, but the reward is self-respect.

But there is no reward at all for doing what other people expect of you, and to do so is not merely difficult, but impossible. It is easier to deal with a footpad than it is with the leech who wants "just a few minutes of your time, please — this won't take long." Time is your total capital, and the minutes of your life are painfully few. If you allow yourself to fall into the vice of agreeing to such requests, they quickly snowball to the point where these parasites will use up 100 percent of your time — and squawk for more!
So learn to say No — and to be rude about it when necessary.
Otherwise you will not have time to carry out your duty, or to do your own work, and certainly no time for love and happiness. The termites will nibble away your life and leave none of it for you.

(This rule does not mean that you must not do a favor for a friend, or even a stranger. But let the choice be yours. Don't do it because it is "expected" of you.)"