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I remind myself.
It's okay to acknowledge the reality of people without understanding them. It's possible to see other peoples blind spots while not understanding them. It's reality that when people see help is needed, and they can help but don't, it's because they choose not to. It's reality that there is no point taking it personally when people are simply revealing who they are.
It doesn't have to make sense. It doesn't have to be understandable, and one cannot profitably spend a life trying to understand what is not understandable. One can simply choose to live with that reality, or one can change the reality by disengaging with the people involved. Those are the choices.
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